Posts

Showing posts from April, 2008
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? " The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.... . . . . . . . He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running.."
A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donke

Smart Answers

SMART ANSWER #5 -- It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied. SMART ANSWER #4 -- A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, " Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub. SMART ANSWER #3 -- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." SMART ANSWER #2 -- The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, &qu

COW ECONOMICS

Image
COW ECONOMICS TR ADITIONAL ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income. INDIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You worship them. PAKISTAN ECONOMICS You don't have any cows, for you ate all of them and you do not know how to produce cow; You claim that most of Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world. Eat the cows, you will be left with no Cows. Start the cycle once again, claim... AMERICAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead, to give a scientific explanation, allocate research funding out of public exchequer, to find out what reall

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career. When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "[M]y gift to you." What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well. So it is w

Wishing That I Could Drop Dead

One of the very few poems I've liked. Please give your comments if you like it too. !!*!! Wishing That I Could Drop Dead !!*!! Cannot go forward, cannot go back, Wishing that I could drop dead in my tracks. I know I am leaving something behind, And it is tearing my spirit inside. Choices have always made me aware Of contradictions in me - so unfair! It seems that it all has to come down to me. I wonder if someone my struggles can see? Self-hatred, self-torment - familiar sight! Alone, be alone, and from it all hide - That's my first impulse that won't get me far. Is that way for many, or is it my star? Maybe I should have simply there stayed, And prevented the so unknown fate That chills me and makes me so scared. Who knows how I would have otherwise faired? But my life has passed in change after change, Now in security I feel too strange, And my restless heart does make me go on. Moving and shifting is ever my song!

Think differently

When NASA discovered that ball point pen do not work in space, they spent $10 million , more than 10 years and 1000 scientist to discover a pen that can work in space, and zero gravity, and in any extreme conditions........ The Russians Simply used Pencil.......... Difference in thinking makes all the difference

What do gods do ???????

Brahma Systems Installation Vishnu Systems Administration & Support Lakshmi Finance and Accounts consultant Saraswati Training and Knowledge Management Shiva DBA (Crash Specialist) Ganesh Quality Assurance & Documentation Narada Data transfer Yama Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant Chitragupta IDP & Personal Records Apsaras Downloadable Viruses Devas Mainframe Programmers Surya Solaris Administrator Rakshasas In house Hackers Raavan Internet Explorer www Lakshman Support Software and Backup Hanuman Linux/s390 Jatayu Firewall Dronacharya System Programmer Vishwamitra Sr. Manager Projects Valmiki Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document) Krishna SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle ) Arjun Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him) Abhimanyu Trainee Programmer Draupadi Motivation & Team building Bhima MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM Duryodhana Microsoft product Written in VB Karna Contract programmer Dhrutaras

Old Carpenter (Really worth reading)

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career. When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "[M]y gift to you." What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well. So it is w

Azim Premji - "My Lessons in Life" Worth Reading

Azim Premji - "My Lessons in Life" An Article Address by Azim Premji in the "Shaping Young Minds Program" (SYMP) organized by AIMA in collaboration with the Bombay Management Association (BMA) in Mumbai on "My Lessons in Life". I am very happy to be here with you. It is always wonderful to be with young people. As my hair turned from black, to salt and pepper and finally salt without the pepper, I have begun to realize the importance of youth. At the same time, I have begun to truly appreciate some of the lessons I have learnt along the way. I hope you will find them useful when you plan your own career and life. First The first thing I have learnt is that we must always begin with our strengths. There is an imaginary story of a rabbit. The rabbit was enrolled in a rabbit school. Like all rabbits, it could hop very well but could not swim. At the end of the year, the rabbit got high marks in hopping but failed in swimming. The parents were conc