Seek first to understand and then be understood
When you understand where people are coming from, what they are trying to say, what’s important to them, and so forth, being understood flows naturally; it falls into place with virtually no effort. When you reverse this process, however (which is what most of us do most of the time), you are putting the cart before the horse.
When you try to be understood before you understand, the effort you exert will be felt by you and the person or people you are trying to reach. Communication will break down, and you may end up with a battle of two egos.
Seeking first to understand isn’t about who’s right or wrong. It is a philosophy of effective communication. When you practice this method you’ll notice that the people you communicate with will feel listened to, heard, and understood. This will translate into better and more loving relationships.
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